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How to Strengthen Your Bond with Your Child in 5 Minutes From a Psychologist

As a Family Psychologist and a dedicated mom to a lively toddler, I have discovered a powerful tool that has brought about transformative changes in my own child and the families I support. Today, I want to share the magic of "Special Time" and how it can strengthen the bonds between parents and their children.

What is Special Time?

Special Time is a short, daily play session that parents engage in with their children. It comes from Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and is a dedicated space for undivided attention and connection, where the child takes the lead in choosing activities. Whether it's drawing, reading, dancing, or any other play activity, the key is to follow the child's interests and desires.

Joining in Without Questions or Commands

During Special Time, parents are encouraged to join the play without asking questions or giving commands. It's a time for pure presence and enjoyment. By allowing the child to lead, we create an environment that fosters their autonomy, creativity, and self-expression.

Expressing Appreciation and Reflecting

Throughout the play session, parents have the opportunity to express appreciation for the behaviors they notice and want to encourage. Whether it's sharing, problem-solving, or any other positive behavior, acknowledging and appreciating it amplifies its impact.

Additionally, parents can reflect on what they see and hear their child doing. By verbalizing observations such as, "I hear you singing your ABCs" or imitating their actions and sounds, like saying, "The train goes choo choo!" during a play session with toy trains, parents create a rich and engaging interaction that deepens the connection.

The Power of 5 Minutes

Incorporating just 5 minutes of daily Special Time into your routine can have a profound impact on the parent-child relationship. This intentional practice fosters bonding, love, and trust between you and your child. The power of attachment is amplified through these moments, positively influencing listening, respect, and the overall quality of your relationship.

In the Bigger Context: Nurturing Bonds and Holistic Wellness

The significance of Special Time extends beyond the immediate parent-child relationship. It aligns with the principles of holistic wellness, emphasizing the integration of mind, body, and spirit. By nurturing the parent-child bond, we contribute to the child's overall well-being and the family unit.

The practice of Special Time aligns perfectly with the values we hold dear, whether it's the importance of mental health, self-care, or the intertwining of faith and healing. Investing just a few minutes daily will pave the way for profound growth and connection.

The Impact of Special Time: Strengthening Foundations

The impact of Special time ripples throughout a child's life, laying the foundation for healthy relationships, emotional intelligence, and self-confidence. Providing an environment of unconditional love and acceptance empowers our children to express themselves authentically and develop a strong sense of self-worth.

Moreover, the benefits of Special Time extend beyond the child's perspective. It enhances the parent's understanding of their child's unique qualities and needs, fostering empathy, patience, and effective communication. The reciprocal nature of Special Time cultivates a harmonious relationship that serves as a solid anchor for both parent and child.

Balancing the Playful and the Practical: Special Time Economics

While Special Time may seem like a simple act of play, its value transcends the boundaries of entertainment. Investing time in Special Time creates an emotional bank account, strengthening the parent-child connection and building trust. The dividends paid in terms of emotional well-being, open communication, and a loving bond are immeasurable.

In the grand scheme of things, the benefits of Special Time far outweigh the minimal time investment. The rewards reaped in terms of long-term relationship quality, emotional resilience, and personal growth far surpass any momentary sacrifices.

A Playful Touch: Finding Humor in Special Time

Engaging in Special Time doesn't mean being serious all the time. Embrace the opportunity to infuse humor into your play sessions. Create silly voices, engage in playful banter, and let laughter fill the room. Humor acts as a catalyst for joy, fostering positive emotions and creating lasting memories. So, don't be afraid to let your inner child shine through and share a good laugh with your little one.

Understanding the Risks and Downsides

While Special Time is a powerful tool for strengthening parent-child bonds, it's essential to acknowledge the potential challenges that may arise. Life's demands and hectic schedules can sometimes make carving out dedicated play sessions difficult. Recognize the risk of inconsistency and be proactive in prioritizing this Special Time, ensuring it becomes a consistent part of your routine.

Additionally, it's crucial to approach Special Time with an open mind and let go of expectations. Every play session may not go as planned, and that's perfectly okay. Embrace the flexibility of Special Time, allowing it to evolve organically, and remember that the intention behind it matters more than perfection.

Embracing the Benefits: A Lifetime of Connection

By embracing the practice of Special Time, you embark on a transformative journey of connection and love with your child. The benefits go beyond the immediate present, extending into a lifetime of cherished memories, strong foundations, and unbreakable bonds.

As you schedule that Special Time with your child today, let the magic unfold. Embrace the opportunity to engage fully in their world, nurture their spirits, and create an unbreakable connection that will guide both of you on a journey of growth and love.


Special Time is not only a powerful tool in strengthening the bond between parents and children; it's also a transformative experience that can enhance connection, trust, and love. Dedicating just five minutes of daily play creates a space where your child feels valued and cherished. The benefits of Special Time extend far beyond the play session, fostering improved communication, cooperation, and attachment. So, embrace the magic of Special Time and embark on a beautiful journey of connection and growth with your child today!

Embracing Special Time: Schedule a Playdate with Your Child Today!

Now that you've learned about the power of Special Time, why not schedule a playdate with your child today? Set aside five minutes of uninterrupted, dedicated playtime where your child can lead and guide the activities. Observe, reflect, and appreciate their unique expressions and efforts.

In the comments below, let us know your child's favorite thing to do during playtime. We'd love to hear about your Special moments with your little one.

Remember, by incorporating Special Time into your daily routine, you nurture the bond with your child and create a foundation of love, trust, and connection that will last a lifetime.

Take care,

Dr. Courtney Miller

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